Thursday, 25 June 2009

• Currently Cities By Anberlin see related

  Rough Night....

  *sigh*

  It's still so early.

  I'm tired, but not tired enough to actually sleep.

  The night hasn't been great so far.

  That's not a good thing since, as I mentioned, it's still so early.

  I have another Mercy check in tomorrow.

  It's almost been three months since I've been on the waiting list.

  Somewhere in my brain I'm fighting with the thought that they will never call.

  The thought that I'm really not severe enough.

  The thought that it's for that reason my name hasn't come up yet.

  That thought makes me feel like giving up completely.

  That thought makes me think....what's the use?

  It makes me think I'm stuck like this.

  Forever.

  Until death.

  I don't know what to say on the phone tomorrow.

  I don't want them to think I'm not trying.

  I don't want them to think I'm ok.

  Cause I'm not at the moment.

  I don't want to say anything that will make me go further down on the list.

  I just want to be ok.

  I want to be safe.

  Safe from myself.

  :(..........

   

  • 11:07 PM
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