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This Is Even Harder Than I Thought It Would Be

As far as setting food goals....... Oh my gosh. I. F.A.I.L. I seriously just stood in my kitchen for a half hour or longer. Yesterday, well, I did the complete opposite that I was supposed to. I didn't eat at all. I…
I Am Kind Of Blank......

But....at this very second I am having a moment of slight sanity. And for the first time in almost a year, I know God hasn't left me. I thought He did. He hasn't. I don't completely understand everything, or why so m…
Rough Night....

*sigh*It's still so early.I'm tired, but not tired enough to actually sleep.The night hasn't been great so far.That's not a good thing since, as I mentioned, it's still so early.I have another Mercy check in tomorrow.It'…
Mixed Feelings About The Upcoming Month

I had a dream this morning that Mercy called. It felt so real. I remember feeling a huge relief fall over me as I answered the phone. Then I woke up. It was rather sad. Last night was not so great and when I fin…
So Pathetic.....

I wish I could sleep 24/7. I hate going to sleep at night because I hate waking up in the morning. I hate waking up from my dreams, even bad ones sometimes. Lately I've been waking up suicidal.....which sucks. It's n…
And I'm Not Sure How Much More I Can Currently Take.....

At the moment I am so scared of myself. I am seriously about to snap. Well, I guess I kind of already have.....today has been rather bad. My sleeping patterns are so off that I can't even sleep at all until after…
So Strange.

There may be pain in the night, but joy comes in the morning.That phrase has been stuck in my mind for the last few hours. Like a broken record, my mind keeps replaying it over and over again. Today was weird. I thoug…
Just A Little Update...

I haven't blogged in awhile. Every time I try to write anything I rarely get anywhere nowadays. I don't even know what's going on with me. All I know is that something really needs to change. I've been having such drasti…
This Really Sucks

I'm so frustrated at the fact that I really have nothing to do but wait right now. I'm trying to find a job, but so is everyone else I know. No one is hiring. I've also pretty much isolated myself from everyone. Wel…
What Exactly Do I Want?

I did something really stupid a few days ago. In a crazy state of complete panic, I frantically searched for the scale. My mom had told me that she had thrown it away. Turns out it wasn't thrown out, but still in the hou…